I’ve always done well in school; it was one of the things I was most proud of. However, this was not the case when it came to French. It was the subject that stressed me out most and I absolutely dreaded it. On one day during a French lesson, I got this feeling in my stomach, I’d got this feeling many times before. Friends and family would call it my ‘bubble’. I would be unable to move or speak for a few minutes. Everyone just thought I was a bit odd. However, on this day the bubble was really strong and turned into a tonic-clonic seizure.
After a lot of testing, I was diagnosed with temporal lobe epilepsy in 2019.
I found out that those bubbles were actually simple partial seizures and now became a warning for tonic-clonic seizures.
Epilepsy was never something that crossed my mind and then suddenly it became the only thing I could think about. There was a lot of anxiety surrounding being on my own just in case I had a seizure, this was extremely hard to deal as I consider myself to be a very independent person. Then there’s the fear of never being able to live a normal life, never being able to live on my one, having to deal with the side effects of medication for the rest of my life, potentially passing it onto my children as mine is genetic. There’s guilt, feeling like a burden to my housemates and family as they have to deal with me when I have seizures.
I decided very early on that I was not going to let my epilepsy ruin my aspirations.
Even though my memory is now shocking, its nothing a few reminders and ‘to do’ lists cant help. I have decided that I would like to do a master’s degree in human neuroscience, I wouldn’t have discovered my passion for neurological disorders if I wasn’t diagnosed. I’ve done numerous research projects on epilepsy, these include an investigation into Anti-Epileptic-Drug consumption during pregnancy and fetal outcome, and the association between epilepsy, medication and memory performance. I’m now in my last year of university with a job and flat secured for after.
I will forever be grateful that I am surrounded by amazing people who will support me and look after me in my most vulnerable times. Because of this I don’t believe that my epilepsy will stop me achieving what I want too or enjoying life to the fullest.
